Have you ever stared at a clean, untouched page of paper and been filled with a desperate sense of hopeful anticipation? There is such a promise of opportunity – this page holds such unlimited potential. It could become a poem, a song, an impactful piece of art. But, without warning, the anxiety of doubt creeps in. Do I have the capability to realize the full potential of this opportunity? Will the words that pour out of my pen fall short and disappoint? Are these words capable of translating the deep ache of yearning with which my soul longs to fill the space?
A new page, a new chance – like the shore smoothed and resculpted by the relentless waves that wash over its sands and create a new canvas each day. Or like an empty stage that can almost hear the faint echo of the life and energy it could possess. I feel I am on a precipice in life. What lies ahead feels like a blank page, ready to be scripted. I can feel an almost electric sense of excitement for what lies ahead. We don’t always know what we will write, but the product, as long as it is crafted with boldness and care, is sure to hold genuine beauty.
All my life, I’ve never been able to shake the dream of being up on the big stage – not for recognition or fame, but because there is no parallel to the emotions and connections created and made through music – of getting to “be” different people and “experience” a piece of that character’s life. It’s almost as if the dream wasn’t born of my own invention or desires, but is its own driving force. But what I also haven’t been able to shake is the crippling self-doubt that tries to make me believe that I’ll never be good enough or that I am too different than what is considered desirable.
I am learning, and must remember, that imperfections and differences give life its unique beauty. Giving fear and doubt a foothold cannot be an option. Failure is not truly failure if you learn from the experience and press forward.
I must put pen to paper..and write.